wherever i'm with you
by princess estellise
Summary: Rita doesn't have a home anymore, so she searches for one. - Rita-centric, post-game.


_wherever i'm with you_

. .

( rita doesn't have a home anymore. - rita-centric, post game. )

disclaimed

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"Where will you go?" Estelle bumps her shoulder and Rita lets out the breath she'd been holding.

"I don't know," Rita answers slowly, "I guess I'll find somewhere." It isn't an answer as much as it is a prayer, a burning hope in the pit of her stomach. She feels very disconnected from everyone all of the sudden, like she's sitting on the arms of a star miles away from Brave Vesperia, waiting to explode.

"Well," Estelle says with a soft smile, "you're always welcome to come with me."

Rita considers this for a moment. "Where will you be?" She settles on asking, cocking her head to look up at Estelle.

"Halure, I think. I want to write stories about the adventures we've had." Estelle's eyes are glowing the way they do when she's determined.

"Maybe I'll meet you there, someday," Rita says. For some reason, she feels that her journey isn't finished, that there are more places in the world she has to see, more people she has to meet. She knows she has to go home, first, to Aspio; she has to dig through rubble, salvage pieces of her old life so that she doesn't forget who she is - or who she was, maybe.

"Do what you need to, Rita," Estelle tells her, encouraging. Rita nods.

. .

It's worse, somehow, seeing what's left of Aspio after the world is saved, perhaps because it feels as though a piece was forgotten. Aspio reminds her of the time before, when danger shadowed each corner of the world, pressed against her from all sides, when Tarqaron rose and and took everything that was left of her past. Rita takes a breath, wanders beneath Tarqaron's shadow and steps carefully over the rubble, searching for things to salvage, mindful of the crater in the earth that Tarqaron left behind.

She isn't entirely sure what she's expecting, what drew her back to this place.

Rita isn't a particularly sentimental girl. She doesn't base worth on memories, doesn't hold onto things she doesn't need. But she needs this, for some reason, needs to see the shambles of her home, to shift through the dust until she finds something that shines. She needs something to steady her, to keep the ground steady beneath her. She thinks of her books, of the formulas she was a breath away from solving, of the pieces of blastia she kept nearby, and it almost unbalances her, how much she wants these things.

So she picks up pebbles with her bare hands, lets the dirt coat her hands, settle on her clothes, and finds nothing.

. .

"Was that stupid?" She asks, knees drawn to her chest. Judith sits cross-legged beside her, observes her, thinks of the right things to say.

"No," Judith says eventually, shaking her head. She doesn't touch Rita but the proximity is enough, the warmth of her voice comforting in a way that kicking the rubble in her old home was not. "I just didn't peg you as someone to care much for the past."

Rita lets out the breath she'd been holding, shoulders falling, "I don't. I just. I feel unsteady and, I don't know. _Alone_." She props her chin on the arms she's crossed over her knees, bangs shadowing her face. "It isn't like I'm not used to that feeling. But then I had you guys, and I just. I don't really know where to go from here. I don't have a place to settle."

"You could stay here, with us," Judith offers, gesturing to the decrepit building that currently acts as Brave Vesperia's headquarters, "no one would object. We could use you."

Honestly, Rita has considered this, joining Brave Vesperia and being a part of something, but - "It's not really my style," she answers, "I have a different path to take than you do. I have to have control over my actions. This would just - tie me down."

As angry as Rita is, she isn't a fighter. She doesn't light up like Yuri or Judith, doesn't need to be brave like Karol, doesn't owe a debt like Raven. Above everything else, Rita is a scholar, albeit one without anything to study. The blastia are gone, their journey is over, she has no home, and she has to start over, now, create something out of nothing, like she does with her spells.

"Visit us when you're lonely," Judith says, lying a gentle hand on Rita's shoulder.

. .

Rita goes to Halure because she isn't sure where else to go. She sends a letter to Estelle and she meets Rita by the entrance, drags her into an embrace that Rita returns helplessly.

"I'm so glad you're here!" Estelle says, smile and eyes bright. She takes her over the hills of the village and shows Rita her new home, a simple house made of yellow brick, pressed tightly between the sloping roots of Halure's natural barrier. The cramped space reminds her, briefly, of her home in Aspio, but the inside of Estelle's house is starkly different, clean and organized and peaceful, cradling them in a gentle caress.

"This is..." Rita says, searching for an adjective. Estelle looks at her, curious as to what she thinks. "It's really nice."

Estelle is positively glowing, although Rita is sure her statement wasn't much of a compliment. "Thank you so much, Rita," she says sweetly, "I'll make us some tea! You can make yourself at home." Estelle gestures to a pair of pristine, white couches and then disappears into a connecting room that Rita safely presumes is the kitchen. "Oh!" Estelle calls suddenly, poking her head underneath the arched doorway, "Yuri is here, too. I think he's in the back."

"Yeah, okay," Rita says with a dismissive wave of her hand. She plops down into the loveseat and scans the shelves of books lining the walls, wondering if any of them are Estelle's personal works, if any of them feature her as a character.

"It's nice here, isn't it?"

Rita startles, turning to glare at Yuri, who pays her no immediate attention. "You don't have to sneak up on people like that, you know," she tells him, arching a brow. He grins at her, half-sincere and half-teasing, and drops into the single armchair next to the fireplace. Rita lowers her gaze to her hands, fidgeting a little. She shifts uncertainly on the plush seat, feeling as though she's sinking. "How long have you been here?" Rita eventually asks, the silence stretching for a time she deems too long.

"I'm in Halure on official guild business," Yuri answers, turning to face her straight-on, "I decided to drop by before heading back to Dahngrest, since she's always pestering me to visit." His voice is fond, despite the sufferance of his words. "I like it here, though. I might try to get Karol to officially move our headquarters here." He's joking, but there is a strange sincerity in his tone that lets Rita know that nothing between he and Estelle has changed. The mutual affection lingers at the ends of their words, the upwards tilt of their lips.

"You don't want to come off as too clingy," Rita says, causing him to bristle, the movement so slight that someone else may have missed it. Rita and Yuri have a way of getting under each others' skin. It's why they have trouble connecting; their similarities, in stubbornness and mutual self-deprecation, clash somehow.

"Where have you been?" Yuri asks instead of rebutting, causing Rita to waver. He barrels on, "Judith told me you had places to be, so where were you?"

"Nowhere," she mumbles, before quietly adding, "I went to Aspio."

"What's in Aspio?" Yuri asks, and his voice is hard but Rita knows, if she'd just _look_, that his eyes are soft, sincerity creeping along the edge of his irises. "Rita," he says, much more carefully, "if there's nowhere you can go, we can help you."

Rita shakes her head quickly, laughing to herself. "There are so many places to go, Yuri. You should know that."

"How many places are there for you?" He asks, burrowing under her skin, staying there even when she leaves without a goodbye.

. .

Rita goes to Capua Nor and stays in the inn for a couple of days. The port is nicer when it isn't raining, when the magistrate's shadow doesn't haunt its residents, so she has a look around the shops, buying a few gels and ingredients for emergency situations. It's harder traveling alone; the roads seem longer and the monsters larger, but Rita tries not to let it slow her down. She searches and searches and finds nothing, can't seem to pull her foot from the door of her past.

"Ah! It's you! The New Dice Master!" When Rita turns to find the voice, the old Dice Master is settled in his window, grinning like a fool, dice held tightly in his hands. "Want to play?" He asks, the crinkles around his eyes elongating with his grin.

"I don't think luck's on my side right now," Rita confesses, leaning against the wall next to him.

"Luck doesn't pick and choose sides," the man tells her, rolling the dice in the wooden container, the clacking noise somewhat soothing with its familiarity, "and you don't obtain or earn luck, either. You make it yourself."

"How can you possibly make your own luck?" Rita asks, cocking a brow, "That's entirely illogical. Luck isn't tangible; you can't create something out of nothing."

The Dice Master shakes his head, smile lingering, "Young lady, with a little bit of faith, you can create anything out of nothing."

Rita relays this over in her head a few times, wondering how much truth there is to his hypothesis.

"I want a home," Rita finally tells him, "I want to belong somewhere."

"Where are the people you were with before?" He asks, tilting his head in question.

"I want somewhere to _live_," Rita rectifies, aggravation peaking.

The man chortles quietly. "Home isn't about where you are; it's who you're with," he says, giving her a serious look, "and young lady, _they_ are your home. They're where you belong. And with them, you can live."

Rita thinks for a moment, then says, "I didn't realize you were a philosopher, too."

"I had to do _something_ after losing my title."

. .

Rita takes a deep breath before rapping her knuckles on the door and taking a step back, steeling herself as it opens to reveal Raven, who looks genuinely surprised to see her.

"If it isn't our genius mage," he says, stepping aside to let her in, "what brings ya to our humble hideout?"

"Enough with the teasing, old man," Rita snaps, stalking down the hall with her bag slung over our shoulder. She wanders into what appears to be acting as a lounge, takes in the sight of everyone, the decor, the familiar settling in her chest.

"Oh," Judith says from her perch on the back of the couch, "Rita, have you come for a visit? Are you finished searching?"

"Searching?" Karol quips from the chair behind the desk. He looks between Judith and Rita, "What've you been searching for?"

Rita hesitates, suddenly put on the spot. "I think I was just - searching for something I already had," she finally admits. She catches Yuri hiding a smile by ducking down to rub Repede behind the ears, notices the quiet pride in Judith's expression, the confused look that Karol gives her.

Estelle positively beams at her from the spot next to Yuri. She stands up, opens her arms for a hug.

"Welcome home," she says.


End file.
